Friday, 19 September 2014

Divorce and the Optimal Strategy

A recent article, "Why Great Husbands are Being Abandoned", written by Randi Gunther and published in the Huffington Post, begins thus:
Fifty percent of marriages are still ending in divorce, and women continue to initiates those endings... They’re dumping men who are faithful, attentive, and respectful, the very men they said they have always wanted. Why would women who have accomplished the female dream suddenly not be satisfied with it? Why are they leaving these ideal guys, and for what reasons?
 The author adds her professional experience as a clinical psychologist
I am currently dealing with several of these great husbands. They are, across the board, respectful, quality, caring, devoted, cherishing, authentic, and supportive guys whose wives have left them for a different kind of man. These once-beloved men make a living, love their kids, help with chores, support aging parents, and support their mate’s desires and interests. They believe they’ve done everything right. They are devastated, confused, disoriented, and heartsick. 
I take special issue with the following
Most often these women still love their husbands as much as they ever did, but in a different way. They tell me how wonderful their men are and how much they respect them. They just don’t want to be married to them anymore.
The author then comments "I think I know what's going on" and proceeds to unanswer the question in no fewer than 1,000 words.

I propound a briefer answer to the question:

All things being equal, there is no reason for a man to invest in one child over any other child if he does not know which child is his own. Consequently, women secure a man's investment in their respective children by promising to mate only with him. However, women (justifiably) demand the man reciprocate her promise, lest there be reason for him to invest some of his resources in children other than her own. Therefore, if a woman has, or will have, sufficient resources to raise her child without remaining in, or entering into, a monogamous relationship with a man, then she will not remain in, or enter into, such a relationship.

Given that the current system of administering the family law effectively guarantees women their children and the resources to raise them, the foregoing explains why divorce rates are what they are, and why women file for 90% of divorces. The foregoing also explains why 99.87% of women who are the sole breadwinners of married households will divorce their husbands within three years of attaining that status [1]. It explains why women who earn enough to raise children by themselves marry less often than other women do [2]. It explains why women do not marry men who earn less than they do [3].


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